Friday, 29 September 2017

Need company

My human was at home all day today.
This was good. I needed attention.

He started off in bed, so I slept on his chest.

He moved to the big, comfy chair, so I got up, followed him, and curled up next to him.

He moved to the chair and table. This made me sad, so I followed him, jumped up on the table, and sat next to his hand.

He moved back to the big, comfy chair, so I sat next to him there, then napped by his leg.
My human is made of warms, so this was nice.

My human has stopped looking at things on a screen, so I'm now sat on his lap.
I shall nap.

Wednesday, 27 September 2017

New thing to flap

My human isn't waking up as easily in this new house, and he's not leaving bits of paper next to his bed for me to flap with my paws.

This makes it really hard when I has a hungry in the night and I need food urgently.

I found a new thing to flap and claw at though. There's a silver thing by the door to my human's sleeping room, and I can flap at the soft floor there.
It makes a scratchy, ripping sound.

If I do this enough, my human says 'for fuck's sake, Clive', then comes down the stairs and puts food in my bowl.

I don't think the female human likes me flapping at the soft floor though. She looked at it and said 'Clive, stop destroying the bloody carpet!'

I don't know what this means, so I blinked at her.

I like the new flappy thing.

Monday, 25 September 2017

My chair

I have claimed a chair, as I do in any new territory.
It is mine.

It is my preferred napping spot and my favourite place to wash myself.

I like this chair to be free whenever I walk into the room.
It is not for the humans to sit on.

Yesterday, I walked into the room and my human was on my chair.
I meowed at him. He stayed on the chair.
I jumped up on the chair, walked all over him, and meowed.
He stayed on the chair.

I turned around a few times, then fell asleep on him.
He's not as comfy as the chair.

I hope he stays off my chair in future. Stupid human.

Friday, 22 September 2017


I was having a nap, when I heard a meow.
My ears turned, to hear where it was coming from.

I heard another meow.
Then another meow.

I jumped down from the big, comfy chair to see where the meows were coming from.

There was another cat, right in front of me - the other side of a window.
It was in my territory.

I looked at it.
I sniffed the window.
It was a male cat - like me.

I stared at him.
He stared at me.
I stared at him.
He stared at me.

I stared at him.
He stared at me.

He meowed.
I meowed back.

He blinked.
I had a scratch.
He blinked again.

I went back to my nap.

Tuesday, 19 September 2017

How many feets?

I know that humans are weird and put feets over their feets, but I saw something strange today.

I has four feets.
They're fluffy and they're all the same colour - black.

But I suddenly saw that my human and the female human has lots of different feets to put over their feets.

They has red feets, and brown feets, and pink feets, and white feets, and black feets, and stripey feets.

Why would they do this?
What's wrong with one set of feets, in one colour?

I like my feets.

Sunday, 17 September 2017

Happy dribbling

I woke up, this morning, needing attention.

I was on the bed, with the humans, so I walked up my human and sat on his chest, looking down at his face.

I blinked at him, and purred, and he obeyed my commands by giving me face rubs, chin tickles, chest rubs, and ear scritches.
The female human joined in too.

I was so happy that I closed my eyes and smooshed my paws against my human's chest.
Then I did a little catty dribble.

My human said 'ewww, Clive!'

I opened my eyes and blinked at him.
Then I carried on smooshing his chest.


Friday, 15 September 2017

Looking in

I understand the magic catty door now - so I can go outside.

I like to go outside.

But sometimes, once I'm outside, I miss the inside.

if this happens, I go somewhere where I can sit and look inside, while being outside.

This makes me happy.

Wednesday, 13 September 2017

Food confusion

I'm not sure what's happening with my food.
Sometimes my human is serving me things in jelly, and sometimes he's serving me things in gravy.
Sometimes it's all fishy things, sometimes it's all meaty things, and sometimes it's a mixture.

I like to eat all of the jelly off the jelly food, but not the actual food.

I like to eat all of the gravy food, including the chunks.

I like the fishy food more than the meaty food.

I wish my human would stick to one type though.
I has a food confusion.

Monday, 11 September 2017

Too much moving

I like being around two humans, and getting equal amounts of fuss from them, but they can also be annoying.

I like to sleep on the bed with my human. He's warm and he has a fat, so he's nice and soft.
It also means I can easily demand food if I has a hungry.

When he's all wriggly, which wakes me up, I can usually move somewhere else.

But two humans means double the wriggling. Both my human and the female human wriggle lots during the night.
This means I keep waking up from my naps, and keep having to move to find my perfect napping position. This involves standing up and turning in a circle lots of times, before plonking down again. It's very tiring.

I wish they'd realise that it's more important for me to be comfy and get sleep.

Silly, wriggly humans.

Saturday, 9 September 2017

backwards forwards

I has a confused.
My human is being really strange... more strange than usual.

I was having a nap on the big comfy chair, when he came into the room and started moving things around.
He disturbed me, so I looked at him and blinked.

He dragged a big, heavy, long thing to the middle of the room, then sat on it.

He pressed a button and this thing made a 'beeeeeep' noise.

Then he started moving backwards.
Then he started moving forwards.
Then he moved backwards.
Then he moved forwards.

Then he moved backwards.
Then he moved forwards.

Then he moved backwards.
Then he moved forwards.

Then he moved backwards.
Then he moved forwards.

I was watching him, but I found it confusing.
Then I got tired, so I closed my eyes.

Weird human.

Thursday, 7 September 2017

Double fuss

I has a happy.
In the new house, my human still gives me lots of attention... but there is also a female human - one I've seen him with before - who gives me attention too.
I like this.

I can go up to either one of them and meow for an ear scritch, for my poo tray to be cleaned, or to get food.
Sometimes I get food from one of them, then get food from the other one. This is good.

But the best thing is that I can get double fuss from the two humans.
I've noticed that they sit together, on a big comfy chair, so if I curl up between them I get double ear scricthes, chin tickles, and head pats. This makes me purr lots.

I like this new place.

I has a happy.

Tuesday, 5 September 2017


I like to have naps in lots of different places - beds, chairs, cushions, and piles of clothes that my human has left lying around.

I like leaving my fur on these things, as it claims them as mine.
Everything in a house is mine.

But I've noticed my human doing something.
When I'm napping on a bed, or on some clothes, he comes over to me with a strange roller thing in his hand, then rolls it all around where I'm laying. It gets lots of my fur on it.

I don't like this.
Why would my human take my beautiful fur off things?

I wait until my human has left the room, then change my position to nap where he's just put the roller. This means I can re-fur things and own them again.

Stupid human.

Sunday, 3 September 2017


I came downstairs to get food, and my human was stood by the magic catty door.

I looked up at him.
I looked at the door.
I looked up at him.
I looked at the door.
I meowed at it.
I pawed it.

My human put his hand to it, pushed it inwards... and it opened.

I put my head by it, and sniffed.
I put my head in the hole... then pulled it away.
I put my head in a bit further... then pulled it away.

My human said 'Clive, don't be daft - it's a cat flap'

I put my head in, lifted a paw up and put it in, lifted my other paw and put it in... then squeezed through. My back legs got a bit stuck, but I was outside.
I was in my new territory.

Everything was different.
Everything was weird.

I had lots of sniffs.
Nothing smelt of me.

I found a small wall and it had a catty scent.
It was only the smell of a little cat though.

I walked slowly round the edges of the big bit of grass.

I could see new bushes. Some would be good for napping under.

There was a really big bush and it smelt of a bigger cat.
I didn't like this. I shook my tail and had a wee on it - now it would smell of me.

I stayed out and had lots of sniffs.

Then I got tired, as I'd used my catty senses so much, so I had a nap by a bush.

I has lots to explore.

Friday, 1 September 2017

Door for me?

There's been lots of noise in the new place today.
This has disturbed my naps.

I came downstairs to see why there was noise, and because I was hungry, and saw something strange in the door... but something I've seen before.

There was a magic catty door in it. A door just for me.

I've seen these when I've visited other humans, but my own human has never had one.

This must mean I can go outside and see my new territory.

I walked towards the magic catty door, but bumped my nose on it. It didn't open.

I looked up at my human and meowed.

He said 'not yet, Clive. Tomorrow'.

I meowed at him again.

I stared through the magic catty door - looking outside.

I left a big poo for my human and went for a nap.