Tuesday, 28 June 2016

Showing my love

I woke up in my little bed with a real urge to clean my back legs, tail, and bum.
I washed all of these parts, being sure to lick them well.

I then realised that I missed my human and was hungry.

I jumped down from my bed, jumped onto my human's bed, and licked and nose-nudged his face.

I like my human.

Saturday, 25 June 2016

Human moulting?

I'm confused.
The fur on my human's head seems to grow, and grow, and grow... then it disappears.

One day he'll have lots of head fur - the next day it'll all be gone.
I never see him moult though.
What happens? Do humans moult overnight?

Tuesday, 21 June 2016

Feed me properly

I asked my human for food this morning.
He put a tiny bit of salmon in jelly in my bowl.

I looked at the bowl, looked up at him, and meowed.

My human put some biscuits on top of my food.

I looked at the bowl, looked up at him, and meowed.

My human put the rest of the salmon in jelly in my bowl.
Better, human - much better.

I ate.

Sunday, 19 June 2016

Hooman Appreciation Day

Cats have a special day. It's a day when we honour our hooman mum or dad. It's called Hooman Appreciation Day.

Most cats can't say 'human', so they say 'hooman'. It's easier.
I can say 'human', so I'm able to call it Human Appreciation Day.

To show our appreciation for our humans, we do special things for them today.

This morning, I waited 10 minutes longer than usual before waking my human to feed me.
I gave him only three nose-nudges to the face, instead of the usual four.
I blinked at him seven times, then stayed indoors, purring, for a full five minutes after I was fed.

After that, I went out to see my other favourite humans.

I shall see my human again this evening, once I'm hungry.

Thursday, 16 June 2016

Doethent tastht good

I was outside today.

I was watching the floor.

I saw an ant.

I watched it crawl left.

I watched it crawl right.

I watched it crawl left again.

It was interesting.

I decided to clean it.
This didn't work.
It got thtuck to my thongue.
It thidn't feel very good. It thickled.
I couldn't geth it oth.

I won't do that again.

Monday, 13 June 2016

Horrible human

I don't like my human today.

He kept me in all day.

I meowed and meowed at the doors, I flapped at them, I shredded envelopes and newspapers... but he still kept me in.

Then he stuck me in the big plastic box. I tried to avoid it, but he threw a piece of chicken inside and I chased it.

He took me in the moving thing, which I hate.

When we got out of the moving thing, I saw a human female who stroked my head, then put a sharp thing in my neck, then tried to look at my teeth, then tickled my chin.

My human put me back in the moving thing.

He let me out of the plastic box. I turned my back on him and went to nap on my little bed.

I won't pay my human any attention for........ ooooooh, I heard a  tuna tin open............

Saturday, 11 June 2016

A fun game

I came in last night when it was dark.
I wanted attention. I wanted food.

My human was napping on his bed.

I found some paper by his pillow and flapped at it with my paws.

My human moved, said 'ugh', and covered the paper with the bed covers.

I stared at the bed covers, pulled them back with my paws, and flapped at the paper again.

My human said 'ugh', reached out, and covered the paper again.

I waited, pulled back the bed covers, and flapped at the paper again.

My human said 'Clive. Stop it', and covered the paper.

I meowed, pulled back the bed covers, and flapped at the paper.

I like this game. It's fun.

Thursday, 9 June 2016

Good start

I woke up at the bottom of my human’s bed this morning.

I woke up just as my human was getting up.

I realised this in time to roll onto my back, tuck my paws in, display my belly, and make my cutest ‘brrrrrr’ noise.

My human responded. I received lots of belly rubs.

A good start to the day.

Sunday, 5 June 2016


I had a nap today. It was hot.

I woke up. It was hot.

I went under a table. It was hot.

I napped behind a bush. It was hot.

I went to see one of my other humans. It was hot.

I came back to my human. I laid on the tiled floor. It was hot.

I moved to a chair. It was hot.

I went outside and sat in a plant pot. It was hot.

It's hard work having a black fur coat.

Saturday, 4 June 2016


I'm having trouble making a decision.
I don't know which garden I like more: my own or next door's.

I spend a lot of time in both of them.

I'm really not sure which one I prefer to be in.

I think I'll sit on the fence.

Friday, 3 June 2016

Wrong scent

I went to my other humans for a few days. I like their food.

I came back to my usual human last night.

I sniffed everything and it lacked my scent.

Usually, one rub against each thing means that it smells of me again, but one table leg caused me problems.

I rubbed past it once. It didn’t smell enough.

I rubbed past it again. It still didn’t smell enough.

I rubbed my body up and down against it. Nope.

I rubbed my head all over it. Still no.

I meowed at my human.

I ate.