Sunday, 28 January 2018

Bad stick

I went into my territory before, for a walk around.

I sniffed lots of things.

I sniffed the grass.

I sniffed bushes.

I sniffed stones.

Then I sniffed a stick and it had another cat's scent on it.
This wasn't good.
Who had been in my territory?
Who had rubbed against it?

I would reclaim this stick as mine.

I wiped my face on it.
It still smelt of another cat.

I wiped my face on it.
It still smelt of another cat.

I wiped my face on it.
It still smelt of another cat.

I wiped my face on it.
It still smelt of another cat.

I wiped my face on it.
It smelt of me.

I came back indoors.

Saturday, 27 January 2018

Magic drawer

My human has a special drawer - a special drawer just for me.
It's a magic drawer.
It contains all of the things that keep me happy: food, treats, biscuits, those long meaty sticks, bits of string for me to pounce on, the little stones for my wee box.

I like this drawer.

Whenever my human opens it, I walk over, jump up, and have a look inside it.

After that he usually feeds me, or cleans up my wee.

Sunday, 21 January 2018


It has been two hours since I last ate salmon in jelly.
I have meowed, in protest, but have had to eat dry biscuits.
The dry biscuits are almost gone.

My human keeps saying something about 'food arriving soon' and 'Sainsbury's delivery', but I'm not sure I can hang on.

I have decided to lie down and tuck my paws in.

I wonder when I'll next eat.

I wonder if I can survive in such conditions.

This is torture.

Saturday, 20 January 2018

A world beyond?

I walked into the room where my human washes, and had a wander round.
I sniffed lots of things.

Then I spotted that the strange thing, which usually has its doors closed, was open.
And I saw this...

What is it?
Is it a portal to another catty world?
Does it lead outside?
Are there strange creatures beyond it?
Is there food underneath it?
Is it the gateway to a land of tuna?

I sniffed it.
I pawed it.
I meowed at it.

It would not reveal its powers to me.

I went to find my human, and meowed at him - to ask for his assistance.
He didn't understand, and gave me an ear scritch.

I had a nap, but shall investigate this strange portal again.

Sunday, 14 January 2018

Out the front!

I often go out the back of the house, through my little catty door, but my male human doesn't seem to like me going out of the big front door.
He says stuff about 'roads' and 'cars'.

He's a bit silly, as I can get to the front of the house anyway, by jumping over some walls... but I don't do it often.

Tonight, another male human came to the front door. He was wearing a big, orange jacket, and said 'Sainsbury's'.

The door was open.
My human thought I was asleep.

I ran out of the door.

I ran left.
My human came over and said 'come on, Clive'.
I ran right.

My human came over again and said 'inside, Clive'.
I ran behind a bush.

My human said 'for fuck's sake', and came towards me.
I ran across the grass, to the next house.

My human came to find me.
I ran to the next house and hid behind a bin.

My human went inside our house and shut the door.
This was fun.

Then it got cold.

Then I got bored.

My human opened the front door and shook my box of biscuits.

I ran out from behind the bin, across the grass, through the door, and past my human.

I looked back and meowed at him.

He sighed.

Sunday, 7 January 2018

Waiting ...

I looked through the window.
I went out into my territory.
I looked up at my favourite bush.
I sat under it.

I'm waiting - waiting patiently - for the sun to start coming out, and for the bush to grow more leaves.

When it has more leaves, I'm hidden when I sit underneath it: I can surprise things by pouncing on them, and I can survey my kingdom without being seen.

I hope the leaves grow back soon.

Saturday, 6 January 2018

Choice of humans

Yesterday was strange. There were two humans at home.
Normally, when it's light, both humans aren't around, so I can't get ear scritches, chin tickles, belly rubs, or annoy them by flapping at paper.

But yesterday was different.

Yesterday, both humans sat at the same table, so I got to choose which one I wanted to go to for attention, food, and to flap at - or sit on - the paper they were looking at.
It was fun.

I got ear scritches from both humans, I got to give both of them catty headbutts, and if I got bored with one I went over to the other.

I don't like being ignored though, so I sometimes have to give my humans a little bite, to remind them I'm there.
The female human doesn't like this, and pushed me away, so I walked off and showed her my bum.

I got lots of fuss.
I hope both humans are at home like that again.