I was upstairs, napping, when I smelt chicken.
I like chicken.
I followed the smell and found my two humans eating, in the room with the big comfy chairs.
I sat down next to them and stared - waiting for them to do the right thing.
I kept staring.
Finally, my male human said 'oh, go on then', and threw me a piece of chicken.
I ate it quickly, licked my face, then went back to staring.
My female human said 'come on then - come round here', and gave me another piece of chicken.
I kept staring, and got two more bits of chicken.
This is a personal best - usually, I only get one or two bits, if any.
My staring worked well.
I has a happy.
I has seen my humans making lots of lists of things recently.
I'm not sure why, but they seem to do that a lot more at this time of year.
I has decided to copy them and make my own list - Things That Make Me Purr:
Food
Food
Food
Ham
Food
Belly rubs
Ear scritches
Chin tickles
Sitting on something my human needs to see/use
Flapping at / clawing bits of paper
Sleeping on top of the big, white, warm thing
Food.
My human fed me, but I was still hungry, so I went over to the big tall white thing and meowed for ham...
'Haaam'
'Haaaaaam'
'Haaaaaaaaaam'
My human finally understood, opening the big tall white thing and giving me bits of ham. I was happy.
Then she suddenly stopped giving me ham, showing me the pack and saying 'empty'. There was nothing in it.
I was devastated.
My world had ended.
I didn't know what to do.
I decided to nap by the big warm white thing until I was less sad. This seemed to work.
I has decided that I would like to be fed in a new way, but I'm struggling to get my humans to understand this.
I like to eat half a pack of food upstairs, outside the humans' sleeping room, then I like to go downstairs and eat half a pack in the humans' food room.
My humans have been slow to understand this. It has taken many meows, blinks, stares, and walks down the stairs.
They now know what to do, but they huff and puff a lot when they do it, and say 'oh Clive, for goodness sake'. They just need to learn a bit quicker.
The new cat that comes into my house is young, but is slowly starting to learn things from me.
I've shown him how to meow in the right tone, for food.
I've shown him how to stare at a human until they do the right thing.
I've taught him how to flap at an object, with his paws, to get attention.
I've taught him how to sit up properly.
I've taught him to spot birds through the window.
He has much to learn, but he will come to know it all, eventually.
My humans were having something strange done to the big front door today.
Two other humans used machines on it, then covered it in white stuff.
I tried to get attention from these humans, by rubbing against them, but they didn't respond. I had a sad.
They said something to my usual human about 'wet paint', then left.
I wanted to go outside, so I walked after them, then there was something icky on my paws. It was white.
Everywhere I stepped, I left a mark.
I tried to lick it off, but it tasted horrible, so now I have icky, white paws and I don't know what to do.
I'm not happy. I think I'll go to another human's house and wipe my paws on their floor.
