Monday, 18 March 2019

What is it?

I saw this today, on the table.

I sniffed it.
I pawed at it.
I batted it across the table.
I walked over to it and pawed it again.
I batted it back across the table.
I pounced on it.
It didn't move or respond in any way.

I don't think it's alive.
I don't know what it is.
Weird thing.

Sunday, 17 March 2019

Giant wee tray

I understand the ways of the wee tray, with lots of little stones in.
My humans have one in their food room.
Other humans I visit have them in all different rooms.

I like using my wee tray, just as long as my humans aren't in the room at the same time, or don't try to make eye contact.

But the humans next door have done something strange: they've turned the entire area in front of their house into a giant wee tray.

It's so big, I don't know where to wee first. I think I might try the bottom right corner - so many places to choose from.

Thank you next-door humans. I has a happy.

Tuesday, 5 March 2019

Hungry night

Last night I had a hungry - all night.

The first time I needed food, I scratched and scratched at my humans' bed until one of them woke up and fed me.

The second time I needed food, I scratched and scratched at my humans' bed until one of them woke up and fed me.

The third time I needed food, I scratched and scratched... but there was no movement from the humans. 
I scratched and scratched again - still no movement.
I sang the song of my people - still no movement.

I resigned myself to starving to death, licked my food bowl to get any remaining scraps, then went back to napping in the spare sleeping room.

I'm still alive. Just.

Saturday, 2 March 2019

Catty playground

I went outside and spotted that the humans to the right of my house have completely changed their front garden.

I walked over to it and there was so much to do: things to sniff, things to paw at, things to sit on.

I sniffed all of the bags, pawed at the blue material, and dug up a bit more earth.

Then I went over to the pile of sand, sniffed it, turned around three times, and had a wee on it. It now belongs to me.

I sat on a pile of earth for a while, then came inside as I was hungry.

Monday, 25 February 2019


I went over to see one of my other humans earlier.

I got to their front door and sat down.

I meowed.
I meowed more loudly.
I meowed and scratched at their door.
No-one came to let me in.

I decided to sit and stare at the door.

Eventually, a human opened it and said 'oh, what are you doing here?'

I walked through the door, straight past him. 
I headed for the the food room, found the tall white thing, and sat in front of it - waiting for food.

Thursday, 21 February 2019


I went for a nap in the sleeping room that the humans don't use as much.
I circled eight times, then settled down into a comfy napping position.

At some point, one of my humans came along and shut the door to the room.
I wasn't worried, as I thought they'd open it again.
They didn't.

When I'd finished napping, I wanted to leave the room, but I couldn't. I also needed a wee.
I tried meowing loudly.
I tried scratching at the door.
I tried to reach the door handle.

I was getting really stressed. The need for a wee was urgent.

I don't like humans seeing my wee. I either do them at the back of the garden or I bury them in the wee tray.

In the end I didn't have a choice, as neither human opened the door. I had to wee on the floor. This made me sad.

Eventually a human opened the door and said 'Oh Clive, you've been in here the whole time - I'm so sorry'.

I ran out, went downstairs, and hid under a table.

I don't like being trapped in a room. I hope my humans don't do that again.

Tuesday, 19 February 2019


My humans left some strange objects on the table, so I had to investigate them.

I went up to the wiry things and sniffed them.
Then I pawed at them and jumped back.
Then I clawed them for a bit.
Then I wiped my face on them so they smelt of me.

I went up to the big thing and sniffed it.
I gave it a catty headbutt and it fell over. Stupid thing.

I turned around three times and had a nap next to the objects.