Thursday, 11 October 2018

New flap

I know how to leave my usual house through the flap at the back door.
I know how to paw at the big door at the front, so that my human lets me in.
But I has found a new way to leave the house. I has found a new flap.

To use this flap, I walk across the table, sit on a ledge, then paw, paw, paw at the large flap.
I look round, to see if my human is coming.
If not, I paw, paw, paw at the large flap... then start clawing it.

Eventually, my human says 'Clive! Stop it!', then comes over.
He mutters something about 'destroying the window', then opens the big flap.
I wait, and wait, and wait... then I jump out of the flap, onto the grass.

If I get bored quickly, I claw at the big door.

I like this new flap. I think I'll use it more often.


Sunday, 7 October 2018

Plink Plonk

I has been playing a game.

There's a bush, in my territory, that's covered in little round orange things.
I like to stare at them.
I like to stare at them because they fall off.
I don't know when they'll fall off, but I like to wait... then pounce on them as they fall.

Sometimes they fall one at a time.
Sometimes they fall in plinks and plonks - one after another.

I like it when this happens, as I have to choose which ones to pounce on.

Yesterday, I stared at the orange plink plonks until it got dark... then I went home and meowed for food.


Saturday, 6 October 2018

Pink meaty stuff

It's starting to get cold again, and it's getting darker earlier.
When this happens, my little catty brain tells me to go between different humans more often, and go back to my usual humans more - getting chin tickles and sleeping on laps.

Going to different humans more often means that I go to their food rooms more often - sitting in front of the big, cold, white thing and meowing for food.
I like chicken. I like tuna. I like prawns. I know their human names.
But there's one thing I really like that I didn't know the name of: the thin, pink, meaty stuff.

I didn't know its name... until I heard a human say it: 'ham'.

Now I know what it's called, I've been trying to change my meow to sound like that word.
I stand in front of the
big, cold, white thing and meow 'ham'...'haaaam'.

I don't think I've got the sound right though, as my usual humans just stare at me and say 'you've just eaten, Clive'.

Maybe my attempt at meowing 'ham' is as bad as their attempts at saying 'meow'.
I don't know. I has a confused.

I will keep trying to change my meow until it sounds like 'ham', or - if my humans take too long - 'haaaaaaaam'.

Sunday, 19 August 2018


The human next door to my usual humans is doing something.
He's putting up a wooden thing ... I think it's a fence.

I has decided to help, by sitting and watching him.

He's huffing and puffing lots, saying stuff about 'drill bits', and cutting things.

I'm helping by sitting down and blinking at him.
Every time he looks at me, or says 'you need to move, Clive', I blink.

I laid on the floor for a bit too.

I think I'm really helping.
I hope the human appreciates this.

Monday, 13 August 2018

Back n forth

I ate some food earlier, had a wash, and went out.
It was my female human who put the food out for me.

I was just crossing the road, to go and see one of my other humans, when my usual male human came along, in his vroom.

He got out, I saw him, I meowed... and then I had to come back across the road again, for some ear scritches... and then to follow him back home for some more food.

I wish he wouldn't do that just after I've left the house.
Having to cross the road again, to get affection and more food, is tiring.

Annoying human.

Sunday, 5 August 2018

Guarding paper things

I needed to have a nap in a spot where I could stretch out.
I found the perfect place: on my humans' table - across all of their paper things.

I know they need to get to these paper things, so napping across them gives me an advantage.
If they come over to get one of the paper things, I get maximum belly rubs.
If they try to take one of the paper things from underneath me, I swipe at them with my paw.

Either way, I get lots of attention if I nap on the paper things that my humans need, and I has a comfy.

Wednesday, 1 August 2018

Small humans

I don't understand small humans - the ones who are much smaller than big humans, and have higher voices.

Because they're so much smaller, and closer to my size, I think of them as furless cats as they come towards me... particularly if they make squeaky noises, which sound like meows.

Today, I was sitting outside the house of the humans across the road, when a very small human ran towards me, pointing, and shouting 'cat'... in a high voice.
I ran away.

I'm not sure about the smaller humans... they confuse me.