Thursday, 26 February 2015

An awkward itch

I've had a difficult morning.

I woke up, finished dribbling on the bed, had a stretch, then licked my bum for a bit, but ... after that, I noticed something annoying: I had a really itchy tongue.

I tried licking my claws, as I thought this would make the itch go away. It didn't.

After that, I tried to lick the side of the bed, but my tongue was still itchy.

I attempted to lick a few door frames, but just couldn't get rid of the itchiness.

I then went over to my human, gave his leg a catty head-boop, and started to lick a chair leg.
I licked it with all my might, to get rid of the itchiness, but it made no difference.
My human said 'stop being weird, Clive', then gave my chin a tickle.

I have decided to go outside and see what I can find to lick.
I hope my tongue isn't itchy forever.

Monday, 23 February 2015

Catty energy


Human toilet room.

Food room.

Soft chair room.

Oooh, bit of dust.


Food room.

Human toilet room.

Soft chair room.

A fly!

Food room.



Saturday, 21 February 2015

Sthupid human

I just took a catty selfie.

I'm not happy.

I cleaned myself earlier this afternoon, and have been out since then.

My human let me go out like this, without warning me.

I saw two of my favourite lady cats while I was out. They must've thought I was really silly.

Thanks human...

Thursday, 19 February 2015

Catty-choo dust

I was napping, when I heard the famliar sound of my human opening a tin of tuna.

My little catty ears went up, I had a good stretch, then I went to see him / the tuna.

He sat on a chair and did something I've not seen him do before - he twisted two strange objects over the bowl of tuna.
A white-ish dust fell out of one object and a grey dust fell out of the other one.

I wanted to see what this stuff was, and have some of my human's tuna.

I kept trying to get close to the bowl, but my human kept pushing me away.

Finally, I got much closer to the bowl. I started creeping up on it, and sniffing. I sniffed some of the grey dust that was near it .... and it got stuck up my catty nose.

I tried to get it out of my catty nose, but it tickled and itched... and it wouldn't go away.
I had to do a catty-choo... then another catty-choo... then another catty-choo.

I had to jump down and away from the tuna bowl

I did more catty-choos.

I went and sat on a chair, and kept catty-chooing. My nose wouldn't stop feeling all tickley.

Catty-choo, catty-choo, catty-choo. In the end I was exhausted.

I had nap.

Tuesday, 17 February 2015


It's sunny.

This means I'm exhausted.

At first, I fell asleep by a window, my fur getting nice and warm.

The sun moved, so I had to sleep on a mat by the back door.

The sun moved again, so I went outside and laid on some earth.

I was up again, in just a few catty minutes, as there was more sun on the grass, so I moved there instead.

Now the sun is shining on a bench. I'll have to move there soon.

I'm so tired of all this moving.

I need a nap.

Sunday, 15 February 2015

I has poem

I has a catty poem to share with you. I hope you enjoy it.

Meow, Meow,
Meow, Meow,

Meowwww, Meowwww,
Meow Meow

Meow, Meow, Meow,
Meoww, Meowww,

Meow, Meowwww,
Meow, Meow,
Meeoowww, Meeeeowwww,
Meow, Meowww.

I hope it means as much to you as it does to me.

I sometimes think of it before I go hunting.

Thursday, 12 February 2015

In and out

After rattling the door handle a few times, and singing the song of my people, I managed to get my human out of bed.

He opened the door from the room where he has sleeps, and I ran past him to the back door.

I pawed and pawed at this door, as I needed a wee.
My human let me out.

After I had a wee, I decided it was a bit damp outside, so I came back to the back door and meowed and pawed at it until my human let me back in.

I lay on the floor for a bit, but the air didn't quite feel right, so I went to the back door and pawed and meowed until my human let me back out.

I couldn't see any birds or meeces about, and let out a big catty yawn. I felt tired. I came back to the back door and pawed and meowed until my human let me in.

I wandered round for a bit, sniffing corners, but some dust got up my catty nose and I then needed to go outside to clear it, with fresh air. I pawed and meowed at the back door until my human arrived and let me out.

I decided that I missed my human, so I came back to the back door and pawed and meowed until he let me back in.
He did say 'for fuck's sake, Clive!', but I'm not sure what this means.

I went for a nap.

Tuesday, 10 February 2015

Many catty returns :)

It's my catty birthday! It's my catty birthday! It's my catty birthday!

Happy catty birthday to me!

I woke up my human by repeatedly sniffing his ear. I was too excited to stay asleep.
He patted me on the head so I bit him.

After that, he got up, gave me a cuddle, and put some biscuits out for me, then he wandered off... and came back with chicken - proper, fresh chicken.
Sometimes I quite like my human.

After my chicken, I had a nap - then I cleaned all of my fur so that it smelt of chicken.

I went to lick my catty balls, as a special treat, then realised that I don't have any.

I chased some shadows and dust for a bit, then my human got ready to go out.

I am now going on a birthday hunt. I will let you know how this goes.

Sunday, 8 February 2015

Human has chicken

I was asleep on a chair, a little earlier, but I heard the sound of a plastic lid being removed from a tub full of chicken.
This put my catty senses on high alert; my ears stood up, my nose twitched, my eyes opened ... then I had a stretch and wandered over to my human.

First I just stared at him and wiggled my nose, trying to look cute.

I jumped onto a chair next to my human, and continued to stare at him, occasionally blinking.
I tried to jump up onto the table, where the chicken was, but my human said 'no, Clive' and pushed me back down. I meowed in protest.

I got down from the chair and sat on the floor immediately next to my human.
I opened my eyes wide and stared at him, pleading for chicken. I added a few 'I'm sad' meows.

I tried rubbing against his legs for a bit, then I placed both front paws on one of his legs. I forgot to pull my claws in, so my human said 'Ow! Shit!'

I went back to just staring at my human and meowing. In the end it worked and he gave me a big piece of chicken.
I was happy and I purred.

Catty persistence always pays off.

I like chicken

Friday, 6 February 2015

Weird white dust

I was bored and was wandering round the room where my human has his human toilet.

I sniffed all corners of the room and rubbed myself against the walls.

I jumped up onto the human toilet and found some bottles and tubs balanced above it. I decided to paw them.

A fairly small container fell to the floor. I decided to bat it about for a bit.

I kept batting it about, then realised that there was white dust everywhere, and a cloud of white dust in the air ... and my fur was now grey.
I also started to catty-choo, as the dust got right up my little catty nose.

I don't know what this stuff was. The container said 'Talcum Powder' on it. It wasn't food.

I decided to go somewhere else and clean myself - my human will get rid of the strange dust.

Wednesday, 4 February 2015

I'm cold

My human is stupid.

It's very cold at the moment. When I go out, my little catty nose is freezing and I sometimes get frost on my whiskers.

When I want to come back indoors, I want to be let in quickly.

Yesterday, I came home and meowed at the front door to be let in. I meowed, and meowed, and meowed, but my human didn't seem to hear me.

My bum was getting cold, so I ran to the side door, down an alley, and meowed outside that. I did my best, helpless, 'let me in' meow. Still no sign of my human.

My bum was getting cold again, so I ran to the back door and meowed there. I started to truly sing the song of my people and combine this with lots of pawing at the door.

Finally, my human approached the door and opened it. I sniffed the door frame, to check it was okay, then trotted into the house, giving my best 'I'm annoyed' meow before leading my human to my food bowl.

Stupid human.

Monday, 2 February 2015

I'm trying to sleep

Last night, I happily fell asleep on my human.

He was lying on the bed, and I curled up on his lap.
It was nice and warm, and I was purring. I fell into a deep catty sleep.

... then he moved. Selfish human. He squirmed a bit and started to turn over.
I had to open my eyes, sit up, yawn, then fully stand up and stretch... before walking in a circle, three times, and curling up next to him.

He fell asleep on his front, so I moved over and got comfy on his lower legs.
I'd not long closed my eyes, when he started wriggling again.
He was getting on my nerves.

I got up, stretched, and moved nearer his head. I curled up on his upper back and wrapped my tail round my nose.

I was in a deep sleep when he started wriggling again. I meowed, in protest, then got up and wandered down to his lower back.

I was super comfy on my human's lower back. I closed my eyes, set my ears to 'alert', and drifted off....

.... but my human woke me, yet again, by wriggling.

I was so annoyed, that I bit his bum.
He said 'ow!' and woke up, looking round at me.

I blinked my displeasure at him.

He moaned and went back to sleep.

I'd had enough of his selfishness, so I wandered over to the pillow next to him and slept there instead.