Friday, 30 January 2015

sorry, we're just curious

Us cats like to know what's going on at all times, particularly when it comes to our humans.

Also, it doesn't matter how many times we've seen, or been in, a room - sometimes we just forget what that room looks like, and need reminding (or we panic that we'll never see it again).

My human visited his human toilet, this morning
. He closed the door to this human toilet. I have been in the room where the human toilet is many times before, but I got worried. What if the door stayed closed forever? What if I never saw the room again? What if I never saw my human again?

I started pawing at the door, but this wasn't working so I scratched and scratched at it. I was really upset by now, so I started to sing the song of my people, loudly, combined with scratching.

Eventually, I heard my human say 'for fuck's sake, Clive!' and the door opened, with him sat on the human toilet.
I looked at him, looked at the room, tilted my head slightly, and decided that the room wasn't that interesting, as I'd seen it many times before (I also confirmed that my human was okay)
..... so I wandered off in the opposite direction.

I did think about this as well...

Wednesday, 28 January 2015

Too high

I went out this morning and saw a squirrel. It's a bit early, and cold, to see squirrels.

I was excited, so I swished my tail, did a bum wiggle, then ran at the squirrel.

He shot across some grass and over a fence. I chased him across the grass and up the fence... which was very tall.

When I got to the top, I was very confused. I couldn't just jump down again.

The squirrel ran off and I stayed at the top of the fence, meowing. It was so high.

I must have stayed on that fence for about 479,000 catty hours.... I wasn't happy.

I was thinking whether I'd have to stay up there forever, when a very strong wind knocked me off balance and I fell off the fence.

I hadn't died and I wasn't injured.

I licked my shoulder, pretended that's what I'd planned to do anyway, and went home to eat chicken.

Monday, 26 January 2015

Catty excitement

I was very excited this morning.

I ran behind a sofa to get my human to chase me, then I tried to bite him when he reached down to pat me.

Then I ran out from behind the sofa.

I ran across the room.

I ran back across the room.

I ran across the room.

I ran back across the room.

Then I saw an invisible mouse and lay down to attack it, with bunny kicks.

My human looked confused.

I ran across the room.

Then I ran back across the room.

I'm tired now.

Time for a nap.

Thursday, 22 January 2015

Don't they know me by now?

Not happy.

I went to see one of my other humans last night.

I was greeted with a big, human 'hellooooooo', pats on the head, and a chin tickle.
One of the humans in this house picked me up and tried to cuddle me. I'm not a huge fan of this. I'll let humans cuddle me for a bit, whilst looking away (hoping that they'll get the hint), then I start squirming.

This was all fine, but later that night I went to get some food and they've changed what they're putting out. It's not as nice as it was before, and it lacked chicken.
I meowed in protest, but no-one tended to my needs.

This morning, after a long nap, I went to get some more food when the human put it out ... and there was still a lack of chicken. I meowed my displeasure once more, but it was no use - they didn't listen.

I have come back to my usual human for now.

He served me something with beef in. This wasn't ideal, but it'll do.

I have decided to lick my paws and my bum while I consider my next move.

Tuesday, 20 January 2015

Breakfast tactics

I was very hungry this morning.

Despite many catty headbutts to the face, I could not get my human to wake up.

I decided to try something different.

I went outside for a bit and waited til my little catty nose was really cold.
When I felt it was cold enough, I came back inside, walked along my human's body, and stuck my nose in his ear.

His head shot up and he said 'argh! .... Clive!'

I blinked, purred loudly, then rubbed up against him to show how much I love him ... and how hungry I was.

He sighed, got up, and put out some yummy food and biscuits for me.

I was happy.

Sunday, 18 January 2015


I was in the garden today. It was cold.

I stared at a tree for a bit.

After that I decided to sniff some dead leaves.

All of a sudden something moved under the leaves.
My catty instincts kicked in and I pounced. The thing that was under the leaves shot out into the open.

It was a mouse! In December!
I thought they were all gone!





I chased it for a bit, then got ready for my final pounce.... and got it!
I was happy.

That was fun. I don't usually expect to be chasing meeces at this time of year.

Anyway, time for a nap.

Friday, 16 January 2015

Meowing is good

I think humans find this a little confusing, but sometimes I just like to chat to things or to no-one in particular.

Today I meowed at a chair.

Then I meowed at a door.

After that I meowed at a table leg for a bit.

Then I just sat in the middle of the floor and meowed to myself.

My human kept saying 'what? What is it?'

I'm not sure what he meant.

Meowing is good. I like it.

Oh, humans - please don't meow back at us. Your accent is all wrong.

Wednesday, 14 January 2015

I has new friends

My human doesn't yet know, but I sometimes go to other houses for food and extra belly rubs.

I'm very good at acting cute and know just the right purr, and the right number of leg rubs, that most humans like.

At one of these houses there are two other cats: a tabby and a black and white cat. They're both smaller than me, but we get on really well.

Whenever I see them, we sniff each other for a bit, circle each other, then rub noses. Sometimes we have a chat. We've even sat by the window and chattered at sparrows together.

I also like them because they're small, so they have smaller tummies, which means they eat less ... so I get to eat what's left in their food bowls.

After that, I usually have a nap then head back to my human.

Monday, 12 January 2015

If I can't get attention...

I find that, sometimes, my human doesn't pay full attention to my needs.

I can be clearly indicating my hunger or my need to go outside, through the position of my ears or a certain meow, and my human won't do anything.

I do give him a little time to tend to my needs, but if he is slow I have ways of getting him to come to me;

*Shred a newspaper or a nearby book, until he comes running over.

*Claw a chair, with a neat ripping sound, until he comes running over.

*Walk across whatever is directly in front of him.

*Sit on whatever is directly in front of him.

*Bite him.

*Headbutt him and rub myself all over him

*Paw at the door constantly.

*Sing the song of my people as loud as I can.

I find that one of these - or sometimes two together - usually works, and I get fed or let outside pretty quickly.

Saturday, 10 January 2015

Following my nose

I was a little bored earlier, so I decided to sniff things around my home.

I sniffed a door, but it wasn't that interesting.

I sniffed a table leg, but it lacked scent.

I sniffed a plant pot. It was interesting.

I sniffed the floor. It smelt vaguely of chicken.

I sniffed the armchair and it smelt of me.

I sniffed a wall, but it was boring.

I was tired after this, so I had a nap on the armchair.

Thursday, 8 January 2015

Wasted hunting

I was busy last night.

I came in and jumped on my human, to say hi, then saw a moth on the wall.

It was very still.

I was judging my pounce for ages. I jumped at it and it didn't move.

I thought I'd missed, so I jumped at it again. It still didn't move.
I thought that it might be a very strong moth.

I jumped at it again, and didn't even catch it's wing.

My human rolled over, made a noise, and said 'stop it, Clive'.

I decided to go up to the moth and investigate.
Turns out it was just a shadow.

I decided to have a nap on my humans legs after that.

Not a moth:

Tuesday, 6 January 2015

I panicked

I has just come back after a very long time away from my human.

I stayed with a lady who fed me lots of tuna, brushed my fur, and also cut my super-sharp catty claws (I wasn't very happy about this).

I didn't want to go this time, but I tried to come home a few nights ago and my human wasn't around. The usual window that I jump through was closed.
I couldn't get inside to eat my food or jump on my human and purr in his ear. I cried and cried, outside the window, but no-one came.

I panicked, and went to see the other human who feeds me.
I cried and cried outside her window and she let me in, then I napped for a day because I was so upset ... then I napped because it was warm on her armchair, then she fed me some prawns, then she tickled my chin, then I had some more naps.

In the end, I decided to go back to my human for a bit. I like waking him up in the middle of the night. It's fun.
He seemed pleased to see me home, so I slept on his head.