Monday, 29 June 2015


It's hot.

I think this is what humans call 'summer'.

They're lucky though. They don't have a permanent black fur coat.

I fell asleep and my little catty belly was boiling hot when I woke up.

I have gone to nap under a tree.

It's too hot to have black fur.

Thursday, 25 June 2015

Too big

I was patrolling my territory, when a bird landed.... at least, I think it was a bird?

I was behind a plant pot, so could watch it.

I've never seen a bird like this before. It had wings, but it was huge, had really long legs, and its beak was massive.

I made a measurement of it - in my head - with my mouth, and realised I'd never get my little catty jaws round it.

I'd never be able to pounce on it. It was just too big.

I was still on high catty alert, but I couldn't do anything.

Then it flapped off.

I don't know what it was. Strange bird.

Tuesday, 23 June 2015


I has had a holiday, staying with my other humans, over the road. It was fun.
They looked after me.

I decided to honour my usual human with my presence, this morning.  I came in through the window, and slept on his head until he couldn't breathe, so he had to get up to give me food.

I ate the food. It was chicken.

It was okay, but I think I prefer the chicken at my other human's home.

I may go back there later.

For now, I'll have a nap outside.

Friday, 19 June 2015


It's a sunny day.

My human has been home all day.

He was sitting outside and eating something, then he went inside.

I had been napping behind a bush, so I went over to see what he was eating.

I sniffed it. It was very cold, but smelt yummy and was all creamy. It had a shiny thing next to it, which said 'Magnum'.

I licked this food. I licked it again. I was right - it was yummy.

I licked, and licked, and licked it... then my human came back and shouted 'Clive!!', so I ran off behind the bush.

I don't think he's very happy, but I am. Mmmmm, creamy, cold thing.

Wednesday, 17 June 2015

Horrible food

I was in my human's room.

I was bored.

He wasn't paying me much attention.

I found a packet of something.

I started chewing it, and managed to get it open.

Inside the pack were these weird, round things. They were brightly coloured. They looked and smelt like food, so I chewed one.

In the middle of this thing was something which tasted horrible. It made me stick my catty tongue out, again and again, to get rid of the taste. A puff of this stuff, which was white, went up my little catty nose, making me do catty-choos.

My human looked round and started laughing at me. I wasn't happy.

I had to do lots of catty headshakes and have a nap.

Monday, 15 June 2015

New human

I has found a new human.

It's a lady human.

She was with my own human, so I sniffed her and nose-nudged her.

She is much closer to the ground than my human, and she has a softer voice.
She let me walk and sleep on her. This is good.

She also responds to my purrs and gives me attention when I nudge her.

She gives good belly rubs
and chin tickles.

She didn't seem to have any chicken with her though.

I think I like her more than my usual human.
I'm not entirely sure yet. I'll have to see what she's like when I next see her.

Thursday, 11 June 2015

Comfy spot

I was bored, so I hid behind one of the big chairs in the main room.

It's dark and I'm well hidden.

I like it here.

I've heard my human call me, several times.

I've been here for many catty hours.

I think I'll just stay here all day - not sure why.

Tuesday, 9 June 2015


I'm quite happy today.

I'm blinking quite a lot ... out of happiness.

I sat on my human's bed and blinked at him.

I sat by my food bowl and blinked.

After that, I went into the main room and blinked.

I blinked while lying on my favourite chair.

I stood by the back door and blinked.

Then I went into the garden and blinked.

I like blinking.

Monday, 8 June 2015

Re-furring things

My human is strange.

He has all these objects that lack fur, and he tries to keep them that way.

I think that all objects look better with a layer of catty hair on.

He has two pairs of white shoes, made from a weird material - I made sure that I rubbed my face all over these, last night. Now they have lovely, black catty hairs on them.

He put some different sheets on the bed that we share. They lacked catty hairs, so I rolled on them for a bit and slept in different places.

He had some bits of paper on a desk. They looked very clean, so I scratched catty hairs onto them.

And this morning, he had a pile of clean-smelling white clothes that he put on our bed. They're not entirely white any more.

Everything is better when covered in catty hairs.

Saturday, 6 June 2015

Silly catty day :)






Bunny kick!



I is feeling silly today.

Thursday, 4 June 2015

Catty doctor

I'm not happy.

I just had to see the catty doctor.

I forgot that this sometimes happens.

I was napping, and my human put this big, plastic box next to me.
I wasn't sure what it was, at first.
... then I got distracted, as my human put a bit of cheese by my nose.
I love cheese.

My catty senses went wild, and I followed the piece of cheese in my human's hand. He threw it into the big, plastic box and I ran in after it... and my human put some kind of barrier behind me. Then I remembered what the box was for...

My human picked up the box and put me in his vroom.

I hate the vroom: it makes strange noises, it judders, and I don't like the feeling of constantly moving.

I cried, and cried, and cried in the vroom, for what seemed like catty hours. Then my human stopped the vroom, took me out of it,
and put me down in a strange room.

I could smell the scents of other cats, and some dogs. I didn't like this.

My human took me into another room and put me down on something, but it wasn't the floor.
Then I heard the catty doctor's voice: I recognised it from last time. I don't like her. She prods my catty ears and tries to look at my teeth.

She took me out of the box and put me on this weird table. I find her confusing so I stared at her.
She plonked me on something and said 'overweight', but I'm not sure what this means.

I went over to my human for some comfort - even though he'd brought me to the catty doctor - and rubbed against him... but the catty doctor started trying to look at my teeth.
I don't like this, so clawed her hand away. She put me on my side to try and look at my teeth again.
This annoyed me, so I tried a little catty bite.

I was just calming down, and my human was tickling my chin, when she grabbed my neck and stuck something in it. Evil human.

Eventually, my human put me back in the box.

I cried, and cried, and cried all the way home ... then - when my human let me out of the box - realised I was really hungry, so went to my food bowl and demanded chicken.

I don't like the catty doctor.

I'm going out to nap in the sun.


Tuesday, 2 June 2015

Rubbish human food

My human appeared to be busy, earlier.

He was tapping away on his computer. I felt he needed company, so I joined him.

I gave his arm lots of nose nudges and purred next to him.

After a while, he went into the food room and came out with a plate of something.

I was excited. I like it when my human has food.

I meowed at him, and kept trying to get to the plate, but he pushed my head away and said 'Clive! Stop it!'

Eventually, I managed to get my catty nose to the plate. I sniffed it, and nothing smelt nice.
The whole plate was full of green stuff, and some round red things, and some kind of goo that came out of a bottle called 'Salad Cream'.

I couldn't smell any chicken, or tuna, or beef.

What was this weird green stuff that teased me? It looked like food, but wasn't.

Why would my human eat such things? Why would he put them near me when they're not really food?

I'm very confused by all of this.

I have decided to lick my paws.

Monday, 1 June 2015

Good to be back

My human disappeared for a bit, so I went to see my other humans again.

Last night, I came home and - finally - my human was there.

It was good to see him. I meowed to let him know this... then demanded food.

When I finished eating, I jumped onto my human's bed (which is my bed, really) and walked up and down him, purring, to show how happy I was.

I tried several different sleeping positions, but, in the end, I curled up by his shoulder. This put me within easy reach of his arms so that he could stroke my head, scratch my ears, and
tickle my chin.

I made sure that I pawed him enough times, and used my cutest meow, to remind him to do this.

I was happy.

I slept.