Monday, 30 July 2018

Back to my humans

It's been colder the last few days, so I decided to go back across the road and spend some time with my original humans.

Last night, I had a nap next to my male human, on the big comfy chair.

This morning, I decided to greet him... and wake him up, so I could eat.
I walked on his face.
I nose-nudged him.
I gave him catty headbutts.
I rubbed my face all over him.
I pawed at his head.
I purred in his ear.

I forgot how much fun this was.

He got up.
I ate.

If it gets warm again, I may go wandering, but I'll stay at home for now.

Thursday, 26 July 2018


I has let other cats into my territory, while I'm roaming, but... I think some of them have been in my house.

I came home for some food, had a sniff around, and things smell of other cats.
I don't like this. It's still my territory.

I made sure that everything had my smell on it again.

I re-rubbed the doors with my face.
I re-rubbed the door frames.
I re-rubbed the walls.
I re-rubbed the chair legs.
I re-rubbed the tables.
I re-rubbed the big comfy chair.

Everything now smells of me.

I hope this warns other cats not to come into my house, or I'll paw-swipe them.

Tuesday, 24 July 2018

View of kingdom

Last night I came back to my usual humans, and ate some biscuits - then I went outside.

There were other cats in my territory.
I meowed and they moved out of my way.

My human came outside and followed me.
He tried to pick me up, but I grumbled at him - I wanted to be left alone.

I jumped up onto the fence, then onto the shed roof.

I looked up and saw all the twinkly things in the sky.
Then I looked across the road, at the houses of my other humans.
I looked left, at two other gardens. I saw a cat creeping along in one of them.
I looked right and could see across five gardens.

I stayed there for a long time.
I had the perfect view of my kingdom.

Sunday, 22 July 2018

Back to flomping

I flomped on the ground in front of the house of the humans across the road from my usual humans.
I was comfy.

Then I saw my usual humans come home, in their vroom.

I meowed, slowly got up, stretched, then walked across the road.

I sat next to my humans and meowed.

They let me into the house, gave me a bowl of biscuits, and I crunched them.

I meowed a bit more, rubbed against their legs, then went back outside.

I went straight back across the road and flomped on the ground in front of the other humans' house.

I like flomping.

Friday, 20 July 2018

Allowed in my territory

As I'm wandering a lot this summer, and spending time with five different lots of humans, in different houses, I has decided to be generous with my territory.
I has decided that other cats are allowed to use it.
They're allowed to wander across it, see my humans, and eat a few biscuits.

They can have naps in my territory, and hunt things, but they're not allowed to spray the bushes, or poo near the back fence - that's the deal.

When it gets less warm, I'll be back with my original humans more, and the other cats will have to spend less time in my territory.
For now, I has a happy.

Monday, 16 July 2018

No puddles

Sometimes, if I has a thirsty, I'll drink the water my human puts out for me, in a bowl.
It's not my favourite water, but I'll drink it. It's too clean though - and it tastes funny.

I like to drink water from puddles, or ponds, or from plant pots and plastic trays the humans leave outside.
This water is nice and dirty - it tastes of plants and mud, and - as a bonus - it sometimes has little insects in it... small snacks.

But all of the puddles, plant pots, and plastic trays are dry, and any water in ponds is now too low down for me to reach without falling in.

There's no outdoor water.
I have to lap at the horrible, indoor, clean water - from a bowl.

I has a sad.

Friday, 13 July 2018

If I have to move...

I like the humans who are across the road from my usual humans.
They sometimes let me into their house.
They sometimes feed me.
They sometimes give me ear scritches.

I like to lay down on the bit of ground in front of their house. When it's warm, this bit is always in the shade.

The only thing is, when I'm laying down, one of the humans will come home - in their vroom.
They'll keep moving towards where I am, very slowly... and I'll have to move.
Even though I has a comfy, the vroom still moves, and I still have to get up.

When this happens, I get to my feet, yawn, stretch my front feets, stretch my back feets - one at a time - ... then move over slightly, and lay somewhere else.

The human then puts their vroom by the house.
I wish they'd consider how comfy I am, instead of making me move.

Wednesday, 11 July 2018

Lots of flap-flaps

I has a confused... and a tired.

There are so many flap-flaps about at the moment - all in my territory.

It's hard work chasing them... but I want to. I can't stop myself.

I chased after one and managed to paw it, but it flew away.

I managed to catch one and eat it - a tasty snack.

Then there was one on a window. I pounced, but it was too quick, and I headbutted the window.

So many flap-flaps.
So confusing.

Sunday, 8 July 2018

Ham. No.

My human tried to offer me some ham earlier.
I didn't want it.

He dangled it in front of me.
I moved away.

He dropped it in front of me.
I walked away.

He said 'What's wrong with you? It's ham!'

He doesn't understand.
It's too hot to eat.
Eating means chewing.
Chewing means moving my mouth up and down.
Moving my mouth up and down means using up energy.

I went outside and flomped on the grass.

Saturday, 7 July 2018

Bum bite

Dammit - my human managed to find me, yesterday, and take me to the catty doctor.

He had some ham, so I followed him, forgot what I was doing, and walked into the big catty box - which he carries me in.

I meowed in protest, all the way to the catty doctor.

The catty doctor didn't put anything up my bum, but he did pull my mouth open - which I don't like - and prod my ears.

Then he spotted the bite by my bum.
A cat was in my territory. I don't like this cat, so I paw-swiped his face. When I turned around, he bit me near the bum... and ran off.
The catty doctor spotted this bite, said something about 'infected', and squeezed it.
This hurt, so I hissed at him.
He squeezed it again, so I tried to bite him.

Then he said 'hang on a minute', took me away from my human, and two other humans held me down while the catty doctor pressed the bite, and put something sharp into it.
I hissed, and scratched, and tried to bite... but there were too many humans holding me down.

Then, suddenly, my bum bite felt much better. It felt... less heavy.

The catty doctor brought me back to my human, patted me on the head, said something about 'stop fighting', and they put me back in the catty box.

My human took me home, and kept dabbing at my bum bite, with soft things.
I blinked at him.
I licked it, to keep it clean.

I meowed to be let out, but my human wouldn't open any doors or windows wide enough. He said 'not today - not with that bite'.

I meowed, and meowed, and meowed, and meowed... but he wouldn't let me out.

I flomped on the table, and napped all day.
My human kept dabbing at my bum bite.

I wish I hadn't been bitten near the bum.

Friday, 6 July 2018


I heard my human talking on the big thing that he puts to his ear, yesterday.

I heard him say 'vet'.
I heard him say 'tomorrow morning'.

I know that when humans say 'vet', they mean 'catty doctor'.

I don't like going to the catty doctor.
They put things up my bum, pull my mouth open, and prod my ears.

I has decided to hide, this morning, with some humans who live five houses away.
My human won't know I'm there.

I'll come back later today, when it's safe.

Wednesday, 4 July 2018

Can't catch it...

I was hunting a small creature in my territory.
It had lots of legs.
It looked like it would make a nice, crunchy snack.

I watched it carefully, then pounced.
It was between my paws.
...then it escaped.

I went over to where it moved to.
I pounced again.
I had it between my paws again.
... it escaped.
It jumped away.

I went over to it again.
I pounced.
I had it.
... it jumped away.

I gave up.
I stared at the fence for a bit.

Monday, 2 July 2018

Food friends

I saw my hungry friend again today.

I has decided we should become food friends.

I met her in my territory and she followed me into the food room, where my human puts out bowls of salmon, ham, chicken, and biscuits for me.

I had the food with jelly on it.
I let her eat the biscuits.

I don't really like the food once I've licked the jelly off, so I let her eat my leftover bits too.

We both purred, then cleaned our paws.

Sunday, 1 July 2018

Indoor wind

My humans (and other humans) can do something strange - something they only seem to do when it's warm: they can create indoor wind.

They have these big spinny things that they put in rooms.
The big spinny things push out wind, like outside, but only in a small area.

The humans either stand in front of these spinny things and say 'aaah', or they just leave them spinning - blowing wind across a room.

When it's warm, I like to come inside and sit in front of the spinny thing and let the indoor wind blow over my fur. It keeps me cool.

I like the strange indoor wind.