Looking

I've had an interesting morning.

I stared at a plant.

When I got bored of staring at it, I blinked at it.

I then walked over to some curtains and stared at them. After a while, I swished my tail while still staring at them.

I saw my human sitting down. I walked over to him, sat by his chair, and stared at him.

Eventually, he looked down at me. I looked away.

When he looked away from me, I stared at him again.

When he looked down at me, I turned my head.

I went for a nap.

Plant

My human put a new plant in the big room.

I don't like it. It's too green.

I bit it.

My human said: 'Stop it, Clive'.

He turned round.

I bit it again.

And again.

It didn't taste very nice.

It made me feel sick.

I went outside.

Hard work ruined

I woke up from a nap and had a good wash.

I licked both of my front paws clean.

I licked the ends of both back legs, being careful to chew the dirt out of my claws.

I licked my bum and my tail.

I licked my sides and my front.

I licked my paw and wiped it behind my ears.

I'd just finished, when my human came up to me, ruffled my head, stroked the fur on my side, made a weird 'oooji' sound, then walked off.

Idiot.

I now smelt of human.

I had to start cleaning myself all over again.

Sideways

I don't like it outside, today.

I ran across my territory and got blown sideways.

I went to pounce on a leaf and it blew away.

I scrambled up a fence and got blown over the other side.

I even got blown sideways while having a wee.

Not happy.

I was sleeping

I was having a lovely nap, earlier.

I was in a really deep sleep.

All of a sudden, I felt something heavy on me, woke up quickly, and meowed.

My human was on the floor, saying; 'Fuck's sake, Clive'.

I was in the middle of the floor in the food room. This felt like a good place to nap.

Stupid human. He woke me up.

Decorating

I finished my food, earlier, and really needed a wee.

I didn't have time to get outside, so decided to go in my indoor toilet, next to my human's toilet.

When I'd finished, I wiped my paws on my tray, then looked around and felt that my human's floor was too shiny and smooth.

To make the floor better, I scooped the little stones in my tray onto it, and spread them out.

The floor looks really good. I hope my human is pleased with it.

I'm going outside.

Tricky choice

I came in from hunting, when it was dark, and found two humans sleeping in my human's bed.

This confused me.

I went up to my human and nose-nudged him. He made a strange groaning noise, reached out, and patted my head.

I went over to the other human. She did the same.

I walked up and down both of them. I had a tough choice to make. Which human was the least lumpy? Which human was the warmest? Which human would wriggle about the least? Which human would be best to fall asleep on?

I carried on walking up and down both humans, purring, and decided to curl up on the other one.
She was much warmer, but she kept moving.

I got up, walked in a circle three times, then settled down by my human's legs.
I was comfy for a long time... then my human wriggled and woke me up.

In the end, I slept between the two humans until I was hungry - then I meowed for them to wake up.