Hard work ruined

I woke up from a nap and had a good wash.

I licked both of my front paws clean.

I licked the ends of both back legs, being careful to chew the dirt out of my claws.

I licked my bum and my tail.

I licked my sides and my front.

I licked my paw and wiped it behind my ears.

I'd just finished, when my human came up to me, ruffled my head, stroked the fur on my side, made a weird 'oooji' sound, then walked off.

Idiot.

I now smelt of human.

I had to start cleaning myself all over again.