I ate some food earlier, had a wash, and went out. It was my female human who put the food out for me.
I was just crossing the road, to go and see one of my other humans, when my usual male human came along, in his vroom.
He got out, I saw him, I meowed... and then I had to come back across the road again, for some ear scritches... and then to follow him back home for some more food.
I wish he wouldn't do that just after I've left the house. Having to cross the road again, to get affection and more food, is tiring.
I needed to have a nap in a spot where I could stretch out. I found the perfect place: on my humans' table - across all of their paper things.
I know they need to get to these paper things, so napping across them gives me an advantage. If they come over to get one of the paper things, I get maximum belly rubs. If they try to take one of the paper things from underneath me, I swipe at them with my paw.
Either way, I get lots of attention if I nap on the paper things that my humans need, and I has a comfy.
I don't understand small humans - the ones who are much smaller than big humans, and have higher voices.
Because they're so much smaller, and closer to my size, I think of them as furless cats as they come towards me... particularly if they make squeaky noises, which sound like meows.
Today, I was sitting outside the house of the humans across the road, when a very small human ran towards me, pointing, and shouting 'cat'... in a high voice. I ran away.
I'm not sure about the smaller humans... they confuse me.