Sometimes I'm walking along, indoors, and my human will come up to me.
He'll make weird, high pitch noises at me, which is okay... but then he'll lift me up off the floor.
He'll put his arms around me, give me a squeeze, then make 'Mwah! Mwah!' noises on my head ... then put me down on the floor.
When he does this, I has a confused, so I stare up at him and meow - to let him know he's an idiot.
Then I have to do a catty headshake, to get rid of the confusion, and I have to lick myself to get rid of the human smell.
Idiot human.
Sometimes I'm lying down and my human gives me chin tickles, and I enjoy it so much that I tilt my head right back... then I lay on my back.
When I open my eyes, everything looks funny. The world is upside down.
The chairs are upside down.
The doors are upside down.
The things on the walls are upside down.
My human is upside down.
I like lying on my back.
I like to have a wash when I wake up from a nap.
I woke up this morning and licked my side - then I moved to my paws.
I like to lick one paw, then the other - making sure they get the same number of licks.
But I got carried away and licked my right paw too much. I gave it double the amount of licks and forgot about my left paw.
I now have a soggy right paw. It's all icky.
I've had to lay down and leave that paw stretched out, so that it dries... otherwise I can't carry on washing myself.
I shall have a nap while I wait for it to dry.
I like to meow.
I like to meow at walls.
I like to meow at plants.
I like to meow at my human.
I don't like it when my meow is interrupted.
Sometimes I'm mid-meow, and a yawn will take over.
I have no control over this.
It turns my meow into a meyawn.
I don't want to meyawn - I want to meow.
When it's hot, I yawn more, so my meows keep getting interrupted.
Not happy.
I has a hot.
I couldn't do anything today.
All I could do was flomp in different places.
I went outside and flomped on the hard floor.
It got too hot, so I moved to a flower bed and flomped there.
The sun moved again, so I went behind a bush and flomped on the mud.
Then I came inside and flomped on the cold floor.
I got annoyed with the floor and flomped on the big comfy chair.
I got hot again, so I flomped onto my human's bed.
It's been a very flompy day.
When it gets hot, I've noticed that humans do something different... they start eating their food outside.
This is good.
I went to one human's garden and stared at them, and meowed at them, until they dropped some tuna on the floor.
I was happy.
I went to another human's garden and purred, and rubbed against their leg, until they gave me a bit of chicken.
I was happy.
I went to another human's garden, and they were cooking meat on a big, hot thing. I meowed at them until they gave me some.
I was happy.
I came back to see my human and he was outside, eating some green stuff and some fish. I could smell it. I meowed at him, and pawed at his leg. He dropped some fish. It was salmon.
I was happy.
I like it when the humans eat outside.
I has a hot.
My human flomped into a chair outside.
I flomped onto the floor next to him.
I blinked at him.
He blinked at me.
I blinked at him.
He blinked at me.
I noticed that his skin was leaking.
There were drops of water running down his face, and some on his arms.
I don't know why this is.
He kept wiping the drops off.
Maybe he washed himself lots?
I licked my paw for a bit, but it was too much effort.
I lay on my side.
