I've had a difficult morning.
I woke up, finished dribbling on the bed, had a stretch, then licked my bum for a bit, but ... after that, I noticed something annoying: I had a really itchy tongue.
I tried licking my claws, as I thought this would make the itch go away. It didn't.
After that, I tried to lick the side of the bed, but my tongue was still itchy.
I attempted to lick a few door frames, but just couldn't get rid of the itchiness.
I then went over to my human, gave his leg a catty head-boop, and started to lick a chair leg.
I licked it with all my might, to get rid of the itchiness, but it made no difference.
My human said 'stop being weird, Clive', then gave my chin a tickle.
I have decided to go outside and see what I can find to lick.
I hope my tongue isn't itchy forever.
Bedroom.
Human toilet room.
Food room.
Soft chair room.
Oooh, bit of dust.
Bedroom.
Food room.
Human toilet room.
Soft chair room.
A fly!
Food room.
Bedroom.
Nap.
I just took a catty selfie.
I'm not happy.
I cleaned myself earlier this afternoon, and have been out since then.
My human let me go out like this, without warning me.
I saw two of my favourite lady cats while I was out. They must've thought I was really silly.
Thanks human...
I was napping, when I heard the famliar sound of my human opening a tin of tuna.
My little catty ears went up, I had a good stretch, then I went to see him / the tuna.
He sat on a chair and did something I've not seen him do before - he twisted two strange objects over the bowl of tuna.
A white-ish dust fell out of one object and a grey dust fell out of the other one.
I wanted to see what this stuff was, and have some of my human's tuna.
I kept trying to get close to the bowl, but my human kept pushing me away.
Finally, I got much closer to the bowl. I started creeping up on it, and sniffing. I sniffed some of the grey dust that was near it .... and it got stuck up my catty nose.
I tried to get it out of my catty nose, but it tickled and itched... and it wouldn't go away.
I had to do a catty-choo... then another catty-choo... then another catty-choo.
I had to jump down and away from the tuna bowl.
I did more catty-choos.
I went and sat on a chair, and kept catty-chooing. My nose wouldn't stop feeling all tickley.
Catty-choo, catty-choo, catty-choo. In the end I was exhausted.
I had nap.
It's sunny.
This means I'm exhausted.
At first, I fell asleep by a window, my fur getting nice and warm.
The sun moved, so I had to sleep on a mat by the back door.
The sun moved again, so I went outside and laid on some earth.
I was up again, in just a few catty minutes, as there was more sun on the grass, so I moved there instead.
Now the sun is shining on a bench. I'll have to move there soon.
I'm so tired of all this moving.
I need a nap.
I has a catty poem to share with you. I hope you enjoy it.
Meow, Meow,
Meow, Meow,
Meowwww,
Meowwww.
Meowwww, Meowwww,
Meeeeooowww,
Meow Meow
Meoooowwwww.
Meowww,
Meow, Meow, Meow,
Meoww, Meowww,
Meeeeeeeeeow.
Meow, Meowwww,
Meow, Meow,
Meeoowww, Meeeeowwww,
Meow, Meowww.
I hope it means as much to you as it does to me.
I sometimes think of it before I go hunting.
After rattling the door handle a few times, and singing the song of my people, I managed to get my human out of bed.
He opened the door from the room where he has sleeps, and I ran past him to the back door.
I pawed and pawed at this door, as I needed a wee.
My human let me out.
After I had a wee, I decided it was a bit damp outside, so I came back to the back door and meowed and pawed at it until my human let me back in.
I lay on the floor for a bit, but the air didn't quite feel right, so I went to the back door and pawed and meowed until my human let me back out.
I couldn't see any birds or meeces about, and let out a big catty yawn. I felt tired. I came back to the back door and pawed and meowed until my human let me in.
I wandered round for a bit, sniffing corners, but some dust got up my catty nose and I then needed to go outside to clear it, with fresh air. I pawed and meowed at the back door until my human arrived and let me out.
I decided that I missed my human, so I came back to the back door and pawed and meowed until he let me back in.
He did say 'for fuck's sake, Clive!', but I'm not sure what this means.
I went for a nap.
