I was just stood by my human, staring up at him, waiting for some food.
He seemed to be busy.
I stared harder, and realised what he was doing.
He has very little fur on his body. I don't understand humans: why would you not be covered in fur? Don't you get cold?
He has some fur on his face, and... and ... he was removing it! He was scraping it off, in front of a mirror.
Why would he do that? Why would my human want a cold face? Is he mad?
I'm not sure if I can continue to live with such a lunatic human.
I was hungry though, so I let him put some food out for me.
My human seems to be busy today.
I'm aware of this as it took 12 meows, 11 headbutts to his arm, and one nibble of his hand before he put some chicken out for me.
He seems to be tapping away at his keyboard, staring straight ahead.
I have decided that he probably needs my help, so - after flapping at some envelopes with my paws - I have chosen to stand guard and watch over him.
I'm sure that, with my help, he will no longer be busy, and will be free to scratch my ears.
I'm happy - the warm things are working.
The warm things are only warm at certain times of year.
When they're warm, I can sleep next to any of them, and they're so comfy.
There's one at the end of my human's bed, where I can curl up with my tail wrapped round my nose.
There's one in the main room that I can sleep next to.
There's another one which is just below a window ledge. I can sleep on that ledge, and the warmth rises up towards me.
There are other warm things around the house, but these are my favourite three.
I like the warm things.
mmmm, a warm thing.
I went outside today. It was windy.
I stayed behind a plant pot for a bit, hoping to run out and pounce on something.
There's nothing to pounce on. All the meeces have gone to sleep for a bit.
I came inside.
I pounced on my human's foot.
I pounced on a pen.
I pounced on some dust.
I pounced on a cushion.
I pounced on a catty biscuit.
I pounced on a pile of paper.
My human shouted 'Clive!!'... so I stopped pouncing.
I miss meeces.
When I demand that my human feeds me, I wish he'd understand how I like my food presented.
I don't like to chew - it takes too much effort.
I don't mind licking the jelly off the meat, and I don't mind licking bits into the corner of my bowl, where I can chew them a tiny bit.
He doesn't always break my food up into little chunks though, so I have to look up at him and meow until he does.
If he doesn't do this, I have to just lick all the jelly off one big bit of meat, use my teeth a little bit, but find that it's too much effort.
Sometimes I even have to eat the dry food, if my human doesn't break up my jellied food. I wish he'd consider my needs more.
I wandered to the front door, earlier, and meowed and meowed to be let out. I really wanted to go outside. I even started pawing at the door.
When my human arrived and said 'What, Clive?', I walked off - he'd taken too long to get to me and I didn't feel like going outside anymore.
Later, I felt like going outside through the back door. I meowed and meowed, and flapped at the blinds that were drawn down over it ... but my human took too long, again. When he reached me, I wandered off.
In the end, I decided to have a nap.
I wish my human was a bit quicker.
I went outside, this morning, and the weird stuff was in the air.
I thought I saw a sparrow at the back of my territory, so I ran at it.
When I got to it, I saw that it was a leaf.
I went to run up a fence, but got my jump all wrong as I couldn't see the top of it.
I fell down, pretended to clean my tail, then came back inside.
I don't like the weird stuff.
