I know how to leave my usual house through the flap at the back door.
I know how to paw at the big door at the front, so that my human lets me in.
But I has found a new way to leave the house. I has found a new flap.
To use this flap, I walk across the table, sit on a ledge, then paw, paw, paw at the large flap.
I look round, to see if my human is coming.
If not, I paw, paw, paw at the large flap... then start clawing it.
Eventually, my human says 'Clive! Stop it!', then comes over.
He mutters something about 'destroying the window', then opens the big flap.
I wait, and wait, and wait... then I jump out of the flap, onto the grass.
If I get bored quickly, I claw at the big door.
I like this new flap. I think I'll use it more often.
I has been playing a game.
There's a bush, in my territory, that's covered in little round orange things.
I like to stare at them.
I like to stare at them because they fall off.
I don't know when they'll fall off, but I like to wait... then pounce on them as they fall.
Sometimes they fall one at a time.
Sometimes they fall in plinks and plonks - one after another.
I like it when this happens, as I have to choose which ones to pounce on.
Yesterday, I stared at the orange plink plonks until it got dark... then I went home and meowed for food.
It's starting to get cold again, and it's getting darker earlier.
When this happens, my little catty brain tells me to go between different humans more often, and go back to my usual humans more - getting chin tickles and sleeping on laps.
Going to different humans more often means that I go to their food rooms more often - sitting in front of the big, cold, white thing and meowing for food.
I like chicken. I like tuna. I like prawns. I know their human names.
But there's one thing I really like that I didn't know the name of: the thin, pink, meaty stuff.
I didn't know its name... until I heard a human say it: 'ham'.
Now I know what it's called, I've been trying to change my meow to sound like that word.
I stand in front of the big, cold, white thing and meow 'ham'...'haaaam'.
I don't think I've got the sound right though, as my usual humans just stare at me and say 'you've just eaten, Clive'.
Maybe my attempt at meowing 'ham' is as bad as their attempts at saying 'meow'.
I don't know. I has a confused.
I will keep trying to change my meow until it sounds like 'ham', or - if my humans take too long - 'haaaaaaaam'.
