Last night I was tired of wandering, sniffing, and hunting, so I came back to see my human.
I hopped through the open window, jumped down to the floor, ran through the toilet room, then jumped onto my human's bed.
Sometimes I just want human company - someone warm to curl up on.
I walked across my human, purring, and reached his head.
I nose-nudged his face, rubbed my face all over him, and he woke up and stroked my head.
I liked this.
I turned around a few times, then lay down on his shoulder, resting my head near his.
I was happy.
I slept.
My human sometimes leaves crinkly things near his bed.
I like the crinkly things. They're fun.
I came in last night and it was dark.
I ate some biscuits, then sniffed the floor.
I found a crinkly thing by my human's bed - a big, orange one.
I sniffed the crinkly thing.
I pawed the crinkly thing.
I jumped into the crinkly thing and rolled about.
My human shouted: 'Stop it, Clive!'
I like crinkly things.
When I'm happy or sleepy, I dribble.
I like dribbling.
I like it when I sit on my human's chest, get ear scratches, close my eyes, and dribble on him.
I like it when I have a big nap and I dribble on my leg. This means I was having a deep sleep.
I like it when my human holds my chin and I dribble on him.
Dribbling is good.
I like it when my human strokes my head, or my neck, with his hands. It's nice. It makes me purr. Sometimes I lean my neck into the hand that's stroking me.
But he tricked me last night.
I was at the end of his bed and was enjoying having my head and neck stroked by his hand. It made me do slow catty-blinks.
When I turned my head, I saw it wasn't his hand - it was something longer, and hairier... it was one of his feets.
This annoyed me, so I bit it.
My human said; 'Ow! Clive!'
I blinked at him.
That'll teach him to use his hands in future.
I has a thing I like to do with my human if I'm feeling friendly.
If he's lying down, I'll make sure I go up to him for head strokes, chin tickles, and ear scratches, but I also like to walk along his chest, go right up to his face, and give him nose-nudges.
I usually do this when he's been very nice to me, or when I'm really hungry.
I push my nose into his nose.
He pushes his nose back against mine.
I push my nose into his nose.
He pushes his nose back against mine.
I push my nose into his nose.
He pushes his nose back against mine.
I push my nose into his nose.
He pushes his nose back against mine.
I push my nose into his nose.
He pushes his nose back against mine.It's fun.
I like doing this.
Sometimes I then fall asleep.
Sometimes I get fed.
Today I gave myself a good wash.
I licked my front paws, then the rest of my front legs.
I licked my front bit and my sides.
I licked my paw and rubbed it on my face.
I rolled onto my back and cleaned my bum and my tail.
I then licked my tummy.
Finally, I stuck my back legs in the air, one by one, and licked them.
I was clean.
I was happy.
I went outside, wandered a little way from home... then lots of water came out of the sky... big, fat blobs of water.
I couldn't run inside in time, and the water blobs kept splashing me. They went all over my nice, clean fur and even went in my ears. This made me do catty head-shakes.
All my licks were wasted.
I was sad.
I was near a tree today.
I was watching it from behind a bush.
I saw something drop down from it.
A bird?
I got excited.
I did a little tail swish.
Something else dropped down, with a 'plop'.
Another bird?
I was really excited now!
I got ready to pounce.
Another thing dropped down and I ran out from behind the bush, pounced on it, kicked it with my back paws, and bit it...
It tasted disgusting... and it was small, green, round... and not a bird.
What a waste of a pounce.
Moths.
Weird, skinny, flying things.
Slow wasps.
Floor spiders.
Dozy flies.
Mmmmmm..... this is my favourite time of year for tasty, little, crunchy snacks.
Happy.
I came into my garden earlier.
It was dark, but my catty vision meant I could see everything clearly.
I know humans can't do this.
I find this funny.
I slowly, quietly, moved towards my human.
I knew he couldn't see me.
He was sitting on a chair, drinking something.
He seemed calm.
I waited until I was right next to him, sat down, and let out a big meow.
He jumped up, spilled his drink, and said; 'Shit! Clive!'
It was very funny.
Silly human.
It rained last night.
This brought out the squidgy things.
The ground was covered with them.
They confuse me.
Some of the squidgy things are long, soft, and slimy. When I try to play with them, they squeeze up; becoming shorter.
The other squidgy things have a hard shell on top of them. Their squidgy bit is at the front, with long bits that stick out.
When I sniff them or try to play with them, they disappear into the shell.
Weird.
I wonder where the squidgy things come from?
I realised something while I was licking my leg: I've never seen my human pounce on anything.
How does he get his food?
I still don't understand why he doesn't have claws and why his teeth are square, not pointed.
Why does he never eat meeces, frogs, or sparrows?
Humans are odd.
