My human was in the food room, earlier.
He had some fish next to him. He seemed to be dropping it into something hot, which spat grease everywhere.
I saw that he had lots of that fish. I wanted to make sure he had less work to do, and I was hungry, so I waited till he was turned away from me, then jumped up and grabbed a piece. It was salmon. Yum.
I ran away. I ate my salmon. I was happy.
I like this time of year. All humans seem happier, and I have lots of naps.
I think I'll nap quite a bit over the next few days. I may not type much. Sleep, food, attention - these things are important.
I think I ate my beef in jelly too quickly. My little tummy is a bit bloated and I have catty wind. I can't help it. It smells quite meaty.
My human came over, a little while ago, to pat my head... and I let out a little wind.
He said; 'Eugh! Clive! Stinky cat!' ... then he went away.
I didn't mean to do it. I'm just a bit gassy. Hopefully it'll go away soon.
I woke up from a nap, earlier, and saw my human.
I blinked at him.
He blinked back at me.
I blinked at him.
He blinked back at me.
I blinked at him.
He blinked back at me.
I blinked at him.
He blinked back at me.
I blinked at him.
He blinked back at me.
I blinked at him.
He blinked back at me.
I had another nap.
The sun is out.
A bit of it has reached a wall, indoors.
I sat and stared at this wall for catty hours.
The sun was in two square blocks on this wall. It was golden. There was a little bit of orange.
These two blocks kept moving slightly.
I stared at them.
I stared at them.
I stared at them.
I got bored.
I had a nap.
My human left the door to the food room open. This made me happy.
I waited until he went to another room, then quietly padded into the food room.
My catty nostrils couldn't tell if there was good food on the surfaces, so I decided to jump up and see.
There was very little.... but something in a plastic bag. It smelt like food. I had to see what it was.
I bit the bag a few times and managed to get through the plastic... and it was bread. Not what I wanted.
Then I heard my human coming back. He doesn't like me on the surfaces.
I jumped down, rolled onto my back, showed my tummy, and tucked my front paws in... just as he came into the food room.
He saw me, and I gave a cute, squeaky meow.
He said; 'Clive, what are you doing in here?'... then he rubbed my belly.
I was happy. I blinked.
I don't think he's seen the bitten bread yet...
I was sleeping at the top of my favourite comfy chair. It's very tall, but I like to sleep on the top bit.
I can spread out and see all of my territory.
I had my eyes half open, and my human came towards me.
I needed attention and I sensed that belly rubs may be on their way.
I stretched out my front paws, blinked, let out a squeaky meow, rolled over... and fell off the top of the chair.
I managed to sit up, quickly, and pretend that I needed to lick my shoulder clean... but why did my human not stop me rolling over? It's his fault that I fell off.
I stared at him, walked off, and went to sleep in another room.
My human was gone for what felt like catty years.
I can't say exactly how long he was away, but it went dark, then light, then dark, then light again.
I stared out of the window.
I yawned.
I meowed and meowed for him.
I craved ear scratches and chin tickles.
Oh, the loneliness.
Oh, the lack of attention.
I thought he was gone forever.
He returned, today, and I meowed, and headbutted his hand.
I then demanded food, with my loudest meows possible.
I didn't feel the need to see him after that. I have gone outside to do catty dirt.
Something occurred to me while I was dribbling on my front paws: how do humans know that something is theirs? How do they know that they own something?
I rub my face and body on chairs, table legs, doors, door frames, plant pots, cupboards - covering them in my lovely catty scent.
When I sniff them, I know they're mine. They smell of me.
I've never seen my human, or any other human, do this.
I've never seen my human rub his face over his bed, his computer, the table he sits at.
How does he know what's his? What if another human walked in and rubbed their face on his things - he wouldn't own those things anymore.
I've tried to show him how to scent mark, but he doesn't seem to pay attention. Silly human.
It's been a hard day for me.
I decided to jump onto the back of my favourite, soft chair, then lay down to survey my territory from the warmth of the indoors.
While resting my chin on my paws, I watched a leaf blow from one side of my territory to the other, then back again. It did this seven times.
I watched the branches of tree shake.
I saw a magpie land, then take off, then land again.
At one point, I had to change position. I wasn't quite comfortable, so I moved my head to the left.
My human came over and tickled my chin on three occasions. I allowed him to do this.
It's been a tough day. I wonder what tomorrow will bring...
I'm really confused.
Sometimes, I'll be walking around, minding my own business, and my human will come along and pick me up, cuddle me, and do this weird thing where he puts his face to the top of my head and makes a 'mwah' noise.
What is this?
He sometimes comes up to me and does it when I'm having a nice, deep sleep, too.
Every time he does it, I have to do catty head shakes.
Weird human.
My human popped his head outside, so I ran, at full speed, from the end of the garden.
I came inside, and, when he approached me, I ran to the other end of the room and meowed.
Then I ran across the room and behind the large, comfy seat.
When my human came over and said 'What are you doing?', I ran into the food room.
Then I ran back out of the food room.
When my human approached again, I ran to the back door and meowed to be let outside.
My human let me outside, so I ran to the back of the garden.
I'm having fun.
I'm happy.
My human left a big, white sheet out. It was over the large comfy thing he usually sits on.
I jumped up onto the large comfy thing. The sheet smelt nice and clean, and felt soft. It seemed like a good place to nap.
I turned round five times, found my perfect position, and settled down to sleep.
I'm not sure how many catty hours went by, but my human came up to me and said; 'Oh Clive! Not on there.'
He then lifted me up. I meowed in protest, but was still quite sleepy.
He put me on a chair.
He then came in with this weird roller thing and started rolling it over the sheet I was on.
I was confused. Don't leave nice, warm, clean, comfy sheets around if you don't want me to sleep on them.
I was annoyed, so I cleaned my back legs and my bum, and went back to napping.
My human approached me while I was napping, and woke me up.
I wasn't happy. I was having a nice dream about chasing meeces. My tail was wrapped round my nose - I was snug.
But ... he went to stroke me and I realised he wasn't using his hand. He was using something with lots of little spiky bits and a long handle ... and it felt amazing.
He ran it over my head, over my back, and along my side, and I was very happy. It made me purr.
I was so happy, that I dribbled all over my leg, then I got up and did a little happy dance - pushing my paws into my bed.
I was really pleased that my human woke me up. I much prefer the thing with the handle than his hand.
I'm a happy cat.
My human appears to have a new green thing in his sleeping room - a plant.
I found this interesting, so I went and sniffed it.
It smelt okay, so I decided I should bite it.
I ate some of it... then a bit more.
Then I realised it tasted disgusting.
My human came in and shouted 'Clive!'
I ran away... then I went outside to do a catty sick.
I won't be eating that plant again.
I have spotted something else about my human: something shocking.
I don't know how I never noticed it before.
When I do my dirt, I do it in my outside territory, then hide it. I'm not proud of it, and I like to keep the area clean, so I bury it.
If I do my dirt indoors, I do it in a box full of little stones... then bury it under the stones. It then disappears. I've seen my human put my dirt into a bag, with a scoopy thing, so that must be what happens - he puts it somewhere else.
But... my human did his dirt while I was still nearby. He did it in this big white thing that he always sits on.
When he was finished, he pushed some button, then got up.
When he'd gone, I walked over to the big white thing, jumped up, and looked into it... and his dirt was gone!
There was nothing there - just a puddle of water. Where did he put it? You can't bury things in water... and there was nothing there anyway.
I'm so confused. I looked at my human with suspicion all day.
What does he do with his dirt?
I was excited, earlier.
I spotted a fly on a window ledge.
I haven't seen a fly in ages.
I waited.
I stared up at it.
I stared, and stared, and stared.
I slowly moved closer, stooped low, with my belly touching the floor.
I swished my tail.
I got right up close to it, wiggled my bum... and jumped up.
I got it!
I started batting it with my paws ... then realised it wasn't trying to get away.
It was already dead. It was an old fly that had been dead for ages, just lying on that ledge.
I hate this time of year. No live prey.
I was just stood by my human, staring up at him, waiting for some food.
He seemed to be busy.
I stared harder, and realised what he was doing.
He has very little fur on his body. I don't understand humans: why would you not be covered in fur? Don't you get cold?
He has some fur on his face, and... and ... he was removing it! He was scraping it off, in front of a mirror.
Why would he do that? Why would my human want a cold face? Is he mad?
I'm not sure if I can continue to live with such a lunatic human.
I was hungry though, so I let him put some food out for me.
My human seems to be busy today.
I'm aware of this as it took 12 meows, 11 headbutts to his arm, and one nibble of his hand before he put some chicken out for me.
He seems to be tapping away at his keyboard, staring straight ahead.
I have decided that he probably needs my help, so - after flapping at some envelopes with my paws - I have chosen to stand guard and watch over him.
I'm sure that, with my help, he will no longer be busy, and will be free to scratch my ears.
I'm happy - the warm things are working.
The warm things are only warm at certain times of year.
When they're warm, I can sleep next to any of them, and they're so comfy.
There's one at the end of my human's bed, where I can curl up with my tail wrapped round my nose.
There's one in the main room that I can sleep next to.
There's another one which is just below a window ledge. I can sleep on that ledge, and the warmth rises up towards me.
There are other warm things around the house, but these are my favourite three.
I like the warm things.
mmmm, a warm thing.
I went outside today. It was windy.
I stayed behind a plant pot for a bit, hoping to run out and pounce on something.
There's nothing to pounce on. All the meeces have gone to sleep for a bit.
I came inside.
I pounced on my human's foot.
I pounced on a pen.
I pounced on some dust.
I pounced on a cushion.
I pounced on a catty biscuit.
I pounced on a pile of paper.
My human shouted 'Clive!!'... so I stopped pouncing.
I miss meeces.
When I demand that my human feeds me, I wish he'd understand how I like my food presented.
I don't like to chew - it takes too much effort.
I don't mind licking the jelly off the meat, and I don't mind licking bits into the corner of my bowl, where I can chew them a tiny bit.
He doesn't always break my food up into little chunks though, so I have to look up at him and meow until he does.
If he doesn't do this, I have to just lick all the jelly off one big bit of meat, use my teeth a little bit, but find that it's too much effort.
Sometimes I even have to eat the dry food, if my human doesn't break up my jellied food. I wish he'd consider my needs more.
I wandered to the front door, earlier, and meowed and meowed to be let out. I really wanted to go outside. I even started pawing at the door.
When my human arrived and said 'What, Clive?', I walked off - he'd taken too long to get to me and I didn't feel like going outside anymore.
Later, I felt like going outside through the back door. I meowed and meowed, and flapped at the blinds that were drawn down over it ... but my human took too long, again. When he reached me, I wandered off.
In the end, I decided to have a nap.
I wish my human was a bit quicker.
I went outside, this morning, and the weird stuff was in the air.
I thought I saw a sparrow at the back of my territory, so I ran at it.
When I got to it, I saw that it was a leaf.
I went to run up a fence, but got my jump all wrong as I couldn't see the top of it.
I fell down, pretended to clean my tail, then came back inside.
I don't like the weird stuff.
Sometimes my human comes over to give me attention while I'm sleeping.
This usually wakes me up, and I purr and stretch out so that he can pat and stroke all of me.
I really like having my chin tickled.
My favourite thing is to rest my chin on my human's palm and pretend that I'm so comfy that I've fallen asleep.
I think he likes this, and it means that I don't have to bother holding my own head up.
Thanks human.
I woke up from a nap, and heard the sound of a lid being removed from something in my human's food room.
I was excited.
I walked to the food room, stood behind my human, and meowed. He jumped.
I sniffed the air.... chicken.
He was eating from some kind of tub, so I just stared up at him.
I kept staring, but he didn't give me any chicken.
I meowed and pawed at his legs. I wanted chicken.
I kept staring up at him and meowing.
He made a huffing sound, took some chicken from the tub, and headed towards my food bowl.
I followed him, staring up at his hand the whole time... through the main room, through the small room, through the sleeping room ... to my bowl.
He put the chicken in my bowl. I ate it. I purred. It was worth staring at him.
I've been staring at my tail while lying on my human's bed.
It swished left.
It swished right.
It swished left.
It swished right.
It swished left.
It swished right.
It swished left.
It swished right.
It swished left.
It swished right.
It swished left.
It swished right.
I'm hungry.
I was staring at my human today, waiting for him to guess that I needed food, when I had a little catty thought: why don't humans have whiskers?
Male humans sometimes have really short whiskers, all over their face, but these are rubbish.
Female humans don't have any whiskers at all.
How do humans get through doorways and gaps between fences? How do they know how wide anything is? Don't they bang their faces on things or get stuck?
Humans are so odd.
I was hungry this morning. It was still dark.I walked over my human and stuck my nose in his ear. He made a noise and pulled the cover up. I couldn't get to his face.
I spotted a piece of paper he'd left on the bed, so I clawed it. It made a nice flapping sound.
My human reached out and covered the paper up.
I jumped down from the bed and walked over to the door. The handle looked shiny. I reached up and grabbed it with my paws. It rattled.
My human pushed a chair against it.
I found some more paper, on the floor. I clawed at it. It made the same flapping sound as the other piece... but my human was not yet feeding me.
I jumped back onto the bed and walked up and down on him.
I sat on his chest for a bit. It was quite warm.
I saw that one of his ears was showing, so I walked over and purred into it.
Some of his face was also showing, so I gave him some catty headbutts.
He said; 'Clive - fuck's sake!'
He then got up.
I was really excited. My tail stood straight, and I meowed at him.
He put my food out. I was happy.
After I'd finished, I wanted to show my human how happy I was, so I walked over him and purred by his head again.
I decided to sit next to my human for a bit.
He presented me with a weird thing with buttons all over it.
I sniffed it. It wasn't food.
He showed me a shiny, flat thing.
I sniffed it. It wasn't food.
He showed me something white, with a handle.
I sniffed it. It wasn't food.
I don't like this game.
I keep seeing my human with another human: a female human.
This is good. Two humans means two lots of human attention.
If my meows don't work on my human, I go to the female human - she bends down and pats my head, or rubs behind my ears.
If I purr at the female human, or give her a catty headbutt, and don't get the desired result, I just go over to my usual human.
I also get the chance to rub my face all over both humans, so that they smell of cattiness.
Oh, and if my usual human feeds me, I can pretend I haven't been fed, and meow at the female human ... then get fed again.
I like having two humans around.
I'm in a very chatty mood.
I'm usually chatty, but I'm super chatty today.
I chatted to my human this morning.
I chatted to a chair. It didn't respond.
I walked around and chatted to no-one in particular.
I walked to the end of the garden and chatted to a tree.
I came back inside and chatted to my human.
My human tried to say 'meow' back to me. That's just silly.
I woke up this morning feeling frisky.
My human went to feed me and I ran away from him, into the big room.
He walked in, to see where I'd gone, and I ran behind a chair.
When he reached me, I ran behind another chair.
When he got to that chair, I ran behind a sofa.
After that, I rolled on the floor, requested a belly rub, then bunny kicked his hand.
...then I ran to the back door and asked to go outside.
I forgot that I was hungry, so had to meow to come indoors.
It's been an exciting day.
I was looking outside, through a window, when I spotted a fly.
It went round and round, up and down... my little catty eyes really had to focus to keep track of it.
Suddenly, I found it annoying and got the urge to bite it.
I forgot that I was indoors.
I went to bite it and hit my head on the door.
This really confused me and made me do catty head shakes.
I lost sight of the fly.
I wasn't happy, so I went to eat some catty biscuits.
After a nap, earlier, I woke up with the urgent need to clean one of my back paws.
I started licking it, then realised how dirty it was, so I had to gnaw it for a bit.
Between my claws, I found; some dirt, half a worm, some seeds, bits of grass, some more dirt.
It took me so long to clean one paw, that I had to have another nap once I'd finished.
I'll have to look at my other back paw, later.
I've been having a lot of trouble napping during the day.
The sun moves too much at this time of year.
This morning, I had to move from a chair, to the floor, to a windowsill, then by the door... all because the sun kept moving from where I was napping.
It was terrible. I had to find my perfect napping position each time, then stretch out.
It's been a really tough time for me.
I just wish the sun wouldn't move around so much.
I was watching my human do this thing he does every morning: rubbing stuff all over his teeth.
I sat by him for a bit, staring up at him and swishing my tail.
I
didn't feel I was getting enough attention, and I was interested in the
white stuff that he squeezed from a tube: it looked like food.
I meowed at him, loudly, until I got his attention.
He said 'what do you want, Clive?' so I just stared at him, then he bent down and I went to sniff the things he was holding.
I really wanted to see if the white stuff was food.
He
put a bit on his finger, and held it out. I sniffed it, and it was so
strong that it hurt my little catty nostrils, so I moved back... and he
smudged a bit on my nose.
I couldn't get it off!
It was stuck on my nose!
I tried to run away from the smell, but it was on my face!
Get it off! Get it off! Get it off!
I flapped my paws at my nose, but this just smeared it.
Then my human bent down again, and wiped it off my nose... but I could still smell it.
I wandered off, doing catty headshakes.
Stupid human.
I was outside surveying my kingdom, today.
I like doing this, particularly at this time of year when I can look around and blink at the sun, without getting too hot.
I was nice and relaxed, watching leaves fall down, and looking out for meeces, when ... something fell next to me!
I jumped catty miles into the air and ran towards my human, who was indoors.
I stopped at the door, looked back ... and realised that the thing which made me jump was just some kind of weird fruit that fell from a tree. I saw another one fall.
I went over and sniffed these fruits. They didn't smell of much, but they were spiky on the outside.
It's a dangerous time of year. I'll have to be careful.
I was napping, yesterday, when my human came into his sleeping room.
My eyes opened a bit, to see him, then something swished past me...
Dangly thing!
Dangly thing!
Dangly thing!
Dangly thing!
Dangly thing!
Dangly thing!
Dangly thing!
Then I went back to napping.
I woke up from a nap, this morning, in hunting mode.
I walked into the main room, and - at the far end - saw what looked like a fly.
I crouched low and inched towards it, my catty senses tuned in.
I stared at it, to work out the best angle to approach it from.
My whiskers switched.
My tail swished.
The fly didn't move.
I slowly crept towards it, coming from its right.
I stared, and stared, and stared.
I started to swish my tail quicker.
I got closer.
I did a little pre-pounce bum wiggle, and...
...pounced!
...but it didn't even try to fly off.
I stop clawing and bunny kicking... and realised that it was a raisin that had been left on the floor, not a fly.
I bit it anyway.
Then I went and had another nap.
I have to thank my human.
I had a moment of panic, this morning.
I was lying down and I was trying to clean my ear by licking my paw, then wiping my head with it.
I was mid-wipe, when my paw got stuck behind my ear and I couldn't get it back again.
I panicked, grumbled, then let out a meow.
My human came over to me, said 'silly', then freed my paw. I nose-nudged his hand.
Thanks hooman.
I'm happy.
It's the season for lots of little legs - lots of crunchy, tasty little legs.Big spiders seem to be running around. I like to chase them - it's good hunting practice.
I like to paw them. They're quite small, so sometimes I make one or two of their legs falls off.
If this happens, I eat the legs - they're very tasty, and crunchy.
Sometimes I accidentally kill the spiders. This makes me sad. Then I remember that I'm hungry, and eat the whole spider. They're small, crunchy, juicy, and yummy.
I think my human finds this weird. He just stares at me when I eat a spider.
The other spiders come inside, too - the flying ones.
I like these. I can chase them around, while they fly in the air, then swat them down with my mighty paws.
Their legs are a bit thinner, but they also have wings, so they have a good bite to them and are just as tasty as normal spiders.
I like this time of year - it's yummy.
My human was in the food room this morning. He was eating something (I sniffed it. It wasn't worth eating), reading something, and drinking something.
I was curious as to what was in the cup he was drinking from. It smelt funny. It made my little catty nose wrinkle.
I also wanted some attention. I felt my human was reading too much.
I tapped the cup with my paw.
I tapped the cup again.
I tapped it harder. It wobbled.
I tapped it harder... and it fell over.
Hot, brown liquid went everywhere! It went on my catty fur!
I meowed and jumped in the air.
My human shouted 'Clive!', and I ran away.
I tried to lick the stuff off me, but it tastes weird and made me do a catty headshake.
I have hidden on a bed.
I'm not sure my human quite understands, but sometimes I just like to stare at things.
Sometimes I like to stare at my human until he notices ... then I look away.
Sometimes I just like to stare at a part of the wall.
Sometimes I like to stare at the floor.
Today, I've stared at my human, a chair, some grass, an ant, a stone, and a plant pot.
It's been a tough day.
I was having a lovely nap on my human's bed. It was nighttime, so he was asleep.
I'd decided to nap on a pile of paper he'd left at the end of the bed, which was kind of him.
I was really relaxed, when suddenly I was clawing at fresh air and falling down. I hit the floor, meowed loudly, then sat up.
The paper I was napping on must've fallen off the bed.
My human said; 'Clive? What's wrong?'
I licked my fur to show that I wasn't bothered at falling off the bed, then went to eat some chicken biscuits.
I blame my human.
My human has gone out.
He left the things he often uses to cover his lower paws - I think he calls them 'shoes'.
They have things attached to them which look like little meeces tails - white meeces tails.
I have spent the morning pouncing on them and chewing them. It's been fun.
I'm going to have a nap now.
Sometimes, I like to go outside, sit down, and just look across my territory.
I'm not looking at anything in particular - I'm just watching all of the leaves moving, the grass rustling, any small movements, and any birds that might land... but with no plans to pounce.
I quite like sitting, staring, and twitching my ears.
After that, I usually go inside and ask my human for food.
I couldn't decide if I wanted to go outside this morning.
My human opened the door and I looked across my territory.
My tail swished left.
My tail swished right.
My tail swished left.
My tail swished right.
My tail swished left.
My tail swished right.
My tail swished left.
My tail swished right.
My tail swished left.
My tail swished right.
In the end, I decided to nap on the mat next to the door.
I was at the bottom of my territory, having a nap on some soft mud, when my ears suddenly twitched round.
I heard it.
In the distance.
That click.
My human was opening a tin of tuna.
I woke up, stretched, quickly ran across the grass, through the door, then slowed down to walk into the food room and sit next to my human.
His back was to me, so I thought I should let him know of my presence and my need for tuna.
I let out my loudest 'hi' meow, and - strangely - he jumped, dropped a fork, and said; 'Clive! Where did you come from?'
I purred and ate some tuna off the fork he dropped, then waited for some more.
He gave me a little bit more, then ate the rest himself.
I stared at him while he did this. I like tuna.
I woke up this morning, after a long nap, went to get food, and ... something was following me.
I don't like being followed.
I turned round to attack it and it went away.
Then I saw it again.
I turned round to attack it and it went away.
Then I saw it again.
I turned round to attack it and it went away.
Then I saw it again.
I turned round to attack it and it went away.
Then I realised it was my tail.
After that, I went to eat some chicken and biscuits.
The rain is much bigger than it was a few days ago.
I'm not going to go outside.
I may still meow at the door though.
Big rain gets in my ears and makes me do catty headshakes. It also makes it harder to see meeces.
I have decided to use the day wisely, by pouncing on carpet fluff and napping.
